I don’t know how many times I’ve been through this cycle:
1) I find myself saying yes to a friend’s / ex-officemates’ request
2) I feel happy I’m helping them & that it’s another opportunity for me to learn new things & experiment with arts, props, pictures and colorful things I love.
3) I hate myself for saying yes and ending up with a busier schedule (and losing sleep sometimes)
4) I hate the one who asked the favor for using and abusing me and only for getting in touch with me when they need something.
5) I promise myself that I will never say yes again or that I will at least learn to charge them & explain that my art may look like fun but it’s no joke and I also have bills to pay (Actually, the profile picture on my personal Facebook account says that now).
6) Go back to number 1 with more self-loathing.
I guess I find it hard to say no because I always tend to put myself in their shoes and automatically, the answer is of course, “Yes, I will not let you suffer and I shall help you”. Ponggo has been through this so many times with me. I’m still learning how to say no not the passive-agressive way of I-shall-temporarily-pluck-you-out-of-my-friends-list-or-opt-never-to-talk-to-you-again. I’m still searching for some middle ground. Don’t get me wrong. Generosity goes a long long way but there’s a very fine line (or horse hair!) between being generous and being abused
P.S. More vicious cycles I go through here:
The Five Stages of Dieting: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression & Acceptance
Lack of Sleep: The Vicious Cycle
The Cycle of Laziness